- Shakti Gawain
Admittedly, I am a person with TRUST challenges. I am often a believer in the old adage, "prepare for the worst and hope for the best." My concern with this ATTITUDE is my wonder if it is not deeply PESSIMISTIC and thus, establishing an expectation of failure or hurt. What is the best way for someone to learn to trust in others?
Trust, by definition, is a reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing OR to do something without fear of consequences. As we are all seeking to grow and better ourselves, we stumble into situations that REQUIRE us to put our TRUST in someone else to achieve our idea of SUCCESS. At work, you RELY on your back office to bill your clients correctly. In love, you RELY on your significant other to act with honor and loyalty. In teams, you RELY on an invested mutual interest in the betterment of your group. At some point – YOU WILL BE FORCED TO PLACE TRUST IN ANOTHER.
Why is trust so DIFFICULT for some people? Commonly, this is a result of PAST EXPERIENCES. In business, if you had a colleague steal a client previously, you carry MISGIVINGS of others in your field to do the same. If you have endured a past relationship that ended in disloyalty, you are likely to be CAUTIOUS about the next person you are with and signs of similar behaviors. In friendship, if your friend fails to ever follow through when they say "maybe," it is likely you will begin to associate this expectation with other friends as well. Is this fair to those new people that have not acted in this way against you? How far can you make it without others INVOLVEMENT? How much TORMENT will you live with, if you are never able to trust?
"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough." - Frank Crane
2 DEGREE SUCCESS STEP:
While I am not a psychologist (yet), I can share with you what I do when I have ANXIETIES of trust. My common practice is to speak DIRECTLY with the individual or group to which I am having INSECURITIES about. For me, I have determined that a lack of TRUST is a combination of 2 things: 1. Carryover of past experience and 2. Misunderstanding of the TRUE nature of a situation.
My belief is that most people tend to allow their minds to race when they fail to understand the complete nature of a situation, and as naturally precautious creatures, we immediately expect the worst to be the facts. Often it is not, rather what we expect is usually the far OPPOSITE of the reality. I do know that I have lived through many great disappointments and failures in my mind, of which few I have ever seen. I, humbly, work every day to improve my TRUST of others and on some days make big strides. I suggest you try the same and be CONFIDENT in knowing that the challenges you are facing – are NOT challenges you face alone!
Cheers,
Zach
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