Morning Motivator – The Bonds of Difficult Discussion

"Communication works for those who work at it."
-John Powell

As business professionals, we are always seeking BETTER ways to build TRUST in a relationship. We want the BEST clients and the BEST accounts, yet many do not know how to go about ATTAINING these types of relationships. The REALITY is that you may not know how to get them, because you do not know how to COMMUNICATE with them.

People RESPECT one simple thing in communication – HONESTY. When are you OPEN with the people you are communicating with, you build an inherent trust that BONDS the two parties together. Think about your BEST clients… what do you talk about? Chats are often about their children, spouse, personal hobbies, struggles, etc. How about the accounts you are not able to get into? You talk about price, quality, delivery, etc. So, how does one go about getting to the next level of INTIMATE discussion?

Consider your significant other and how you communicate with them. What breeds TRUST in that relationship? Do you find that HOLDING BACK on things that are bothering you bring you closer? Do you find that housing SECRETS from one another about people in your life creates INTIMACY? Likely not. It is the OPEN and FORTHRIGHT discussion of difficult subject matter that brings you closer. It's the sharing of your DREAMS, FEARS, PASSIONS and INSECURITIES that makes the other person feel bonded to you. Sharing something with them, that you would NOT share with others is what puts them in a SPECIAL category, all by themselves. How well are you doing this with your clients?

2 DEGREE SUCCESS STEP:
In your professional and personal life, the COMMUNICATION you choose to share will be the determinant in your success. I have found that the CRITICAL key to creating TRUST through discussion starts by ASKING QUESTIONS. By taking the time to UNDERSTAND the information YOU deem necessary and allowing them the same respect, you will move forward creating the pathway for future success.

Once you have your initial information, ask follow up questions surrounding the AREAS OF CONCERN you may have. It is at this point that often the DISCOMFORT of discussion will set in, as often people feel you are judging them based on their answers – expect PUSH BACK. To ensure a POSITIVE experience, make sure they UNDERSTAND your motives and be clear that you are seeking information, not passing judgment.

Eventually, you will have narrowed down to the CRITICAL areas of discussion you are seeking. At this point, you are able to ask for an ACTIONABLE commitment, such as showing an invoice from a competitor. If you have a MUTUALLY communicative relationship that is based on TRUST and RESPONSIBILITY to one another, you should find that the other person is willing to give you access to the information that is difficult to discuss or show. Commonly, at the point of which they finally share EVERYTHING, you find the RELATIONSHIP (professional or personal) is ENSURED to be successful.

Strive to have MEANINGFUL communication, shy away from trivial discussion. Have a great weekend!!

Cheers,
Zach

*To enjoy past editions of the Morning Motivator go to – http://grow-learn-lead.blogspot.com

The Morning Motivator is a copyrighted publication. The use of this article is open for print or publication with proper citations.

Morning Motivator – Making a Commitment to What You Want

"Keep true, never be ashamed of doing right, decide on what you think is right and stick to it."
— George Eliot

How many times have you OBSERVED someone that has "all the potential in the world," fail over and over again? In their career – they STRUGGLE to meet goals. In their personal relationships – they always seem to be UNPREDICTABLE. In their self management – they seem to continually make the WRONG decisions. Many of these people are trapped in a behavioral pattern that makes it difficult for them to change their processes and decision making.

As we develop our BELIEF systems and habits for taking ACTION - we create patterns of behavior. Most commonly, our patters are defined by our level of need to AVOID painful situations. Interestingly, you can see people (including yourself) that make SIGNIFICANT changes all around you. At the root of their change is a PAIN (or investment) that is greater than the PERCEIVED pain of continuing in their current patters. From this, we gain a COMMITMENT in belief and action to what is most productive. This type of behavior can be seen in business people that say, "that's enough!" and begin making their sales calls – resulting in the INCREASED income and productivity they were seeking. Also, someone who is overcoming an ADDICTION (whether it be to controlled substances, gambling or even pride/ego), will find that at some point they RECOGNIZE the value of what is before them and make a STEADFAST commitment to following the better path – commonly, resulting in the HAPPINESS they had been seeking so desperately.

What are you COMMITTED to? What are you willing to "DO ANYTHING" to make sure you get or keep? What PAINS do you have that need to be addressed and recommitted to change?

2 DEGREE SUCCESS STEP:

As with any CHALLENGING efforts to improve one's self – you will find this process can be very PAINFUL in the initial analysis of the "WHAT" that you are trying to better yourself in. Once you have decided that a POSITIVE change must take place, you must then CLEARLY define the aspect of your character/persona that is causing your continually destructive or non-productive behavior.

To Grow, Learn and Lead more effectively, you must UNDERSTAND:
- What decision patterns do I posses?
- What are the consistent results of these patterns?
- WHY do I make these decisions? (it is MOST IMPORTANT that you are honest with yourself here – if you are not, you will not be able to overcome and change)
- How can I identify this behavior before it takes place?
- What can I do to replace that destructive need?

Once you have CLARITY in the TRUE (again, be very honest with yourself) rationale of how and why you make the decisions in the patters you do – you will then be EMPOWERED with the ability to take corrective actions and make a LIFE COMMITMENT to improving yourself, your career and your personal relationships. Once you have the answers to the questions, it is much easier to improve your test grades… only the grades you make in LIFE are the most important ones to score HIGH!

Cheers,
Zach

*To enjoy past editions of the Morning Motivator go to – http://grow-learn-lead.blogspot.com

The Morning Motivator is a copyrighted publication. The use of this article is open for print or publication with proper citations.

Morning Motivator – Learning To Trust

"When I'm trusting and being myself... everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously."
- Shakti Gawain

Admittedly, I am a person with TRUST challenges. I am often a believer in the old adage, "prepare for the worst and hope for the best." My concern with this ATTITUDE is my wonder if it is not deeply PESSIMISTIC and thus, establishing an expectation of failure or hurt. What is the best way for someone to learn to trust in others?

Trust, by definition, is a reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing OR to do something without fear of consequences. As we are all seeking to grow and better ourselves, we stumble into situations that REQUIRE us to put our TRUST in someone else to achieve our idea of SUCCESS. At work, you RELY on your back office to bill your clients correctly. In love, you RELY on your significant other to act with honor and loyalty. In teams, you RELY on an invested mutual interest in the betterment of your group. At some point – YOU WILL BE FORCED TO PLACE TRUST IN ANOTHER.

Why is trust so DIFFICULT for some people? Commonly, this is a result of PAST EXPERIENCES. In business, if you had a colleague steal a client previously, you carry MISGIVINGS of others in your field to do the same. If you have endured a past relationship that ended in disloyalty, you are likely to be CAUTIOUS about the next person you are with and signs of similar behaviors. In friendship, if your friend fails to ever follow through when they say "maybe," it is likely you will begin to associate this expectation with other friends as well. Is this fair to those new people that have not acted in this way against you? How far can you make it without others INVOLVEMENT? How much TORMENT will you live with, if you are never able to trust?

"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough." - Frank Crane

2 DEGREE SUCCESS STEP:

While I am not a psychologist (yet), I can share with you what I do when I have ANXIETIES of trust. My common practice is to speak DIRECTLY with the individual or group to which I am having INSECURITIES about. For me, I have determined that a lack of TRUST is a combination of 2 things: 1. Carryover of past experience and 2. Misunderstanding of the TRUE nature of a situation.

My belief is that most people tend to allow their minds to race when they fail to understand the complete nature of a situation, and as naturally precautious creatures, we immediately expect the worst to be the facts. Often it is not, rather what we expect is usually the far OPPOSITE of the reality. I do know that I have lived through many great disappointments and failures in my mind, of which few I have ever seen. I, humbly, work every day to improve my TRUST of others and on some days make big strides. I suggest you try the same and be CONFIDENT in knowing that the challenges you are facing – are NOT challenges you face alone!

Cheers,
Zach

*To enjoy past editions of the Morning Motivator go to – http://grow-learn-lead.blogspot.com

The Morning Motivator is a copyrighted publication. The use of this article is open for print or publication with proper citations.

Morning Motivator - Is That Grass Really Greener?

Special thanks to today's guest contributer - Andréa McCarther of VHA, Inc in Texas. I appreciate all your support!

"If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too."

Someone sent me a forward about "Haters" and not allowing them to steal your glory. The above quote was mentioned and I just love it because it speaks to something a lot of people do: judge their happiness, success, and blessings by comparing themselves to what others have. That is a sure fire way to be disappointed and constantly dwell on the negative in your own life. You should judge yourself only by the measures you make for yourself. Also people typically only show you what you want to see. There was another quote in that forward:

"The problem with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't know my story..."

You never know what's really going on with someone. The scene you see is through the lens of a voyeur peering through their living room window from the outside. You never know what happens when the lights go off and they move to a different room. You never know what a person went through, what they're still paying, or what they had to overcome to get to where they are today. Sometimes what you see is false or sometimes it's what you don't see that if you did, would cause you to give them tons more respect for their achievements.

If I'm bring honest with myself, I will admit I am guilty of "hating", of being jealous, of wondering why so many wonderful things happen to "other people" but not to me. But these two quotes spoke to me and I need to keep them in the forefront of my mind. I should be happy for those that have found happiness for themselves, be it temporary or permanent. I think it's okay to see something and want it or more for yourself, but I think we need to be realistic about our achievements and our momentary limitations (and I say "momentary" because hopefully we are always striving to overcome the hurdles in our path) and set S.M.A.R.T. goals (Simple, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely) for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with having a comparison stick or even a competitive one, we just need to be sure we are playing in our own fields and are equipped with the appropriate tools.

Cheers,
Zach

*To enjoy past editions of the Morning Motivator go to – http://grow-learn-lead.blogspot.com

The Morning Motivator is a copyrighted publication. The use of this article is open for print or publication with proper citations.

Morning Motivator - Are You Comfy Yet?

"Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone."
- Robert Allen

Ask yourself a question and be VERY honest: What have you FAILED at in your life? Now, consider what ACCOMPLISHMENT has meant the most to you over time? Within these two questions, there is often a COMMON thread... the lack of COMFORT (aka the presence of FEAR, ANXIETY, etc).

Most people are RELUCTANT to pursue opportunities that place them "outside of their comfort zone." This is human nature - the fight or flight premise. Why would someone put their self at risk to be hurt, embarrassed, fail, or worse? Conversely, why is it that most TOP ACHIEVERS are people that welcome these emotions and anxieties with a perspective of pursuing LEARNING opportunity? Go back to the top questions... When you FAILED, did you learn from that experience? And the accomplishment that MEANT so much, did you have to push yourself really FAR to get where you wanted? How comfortable was it getting there?

As we pursue our DREAMS we often rationalize why we CAN'T do something (my boss won't let me off work, I might upset my husband/wife, I don't have the money, etc) and commonly that reasoning is FALSE. You CAN work out a compromise with a boss to pursue a passion, you CAN gain confidence from a spouse to SUPPORT your dreams and as for money, that's the easy one... you CAN always borrow it. So, what's your excuse now?

2 DEGREE SUCCESS STEP:
I, like you, am FEARFUL of failure, ridicule and public embarrassment. Also, like you, I have visions of success (in my terms) and happiness through work, play and love. I wonder though... Are you afraid like me? Or are you willing to risk it all to get what you want?

We are all afraid of what we PERCEIVE to be reality - limited finances, misguided love, disloyalty, potential embarrassment. Often, we spend our time DWELLING about what others think of us and our ideas. *NEWS FLASH: Everyone else is either thinking about THEMSELVES or about what YOU are thinking about them! Don't be afraid of what others think - get outside your COMFORT ZONE - put yourself on the edge and be willing to take the risk to be successful.

It seems most often that people are not as much afraid to fail, rather, they are afraid to SUCCEED... because if you CAN succeed in this, what would that say for your life up until now? Be BOLD and BRAVE for after all, "nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Cheers,
Zach

*To enjoy past editions of the Morning Motivator go to – http://grow-learn-lead.blogspot.com

The Morning Motivator is a copyrighted publication. The use of this article is open for print or publication with proper citations.