"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Question: Is it wrong to EXPECT something from someone when you help him or her?
Answer: No – you SHOULD expect something from your help!
Let me explain.
When an individual "helps" another (even in the most innocent and pure terms) there is, in fact, an exchange of VALUE. You may ask - how so? Truth of the matter is you ALWAYS receive something by helping others, such as a financial benefit through the close of a business opportunity, increased trust and loyalty in a relationship, maybe even a release of stress. In many cases, you receive (and expect) a feeling of ACCOMPLISHMENT and PRIDE. Repeated – You WILL (and expect to) receive something of value for your help… and that is OK!
Consider these examples: You help a co-worker with a project - expect they will be able to help you on one later. You help a buddy out of a tough spot - expect to feel accomplished as a "good friend." Help a new business acquaintance meet someone in town - expect the initial formation of a strategic alliance. Support your wife or husband through a difficult time - expect a deep strengthening of trust and loyalty in that relationship. It is ABSOLUTELY acceptable to expect something from your help. If you do not receive value for your help – EXPECT that relationship to fizzle and cease. Make sure you are investing into your relationships (and expect to invest back when YOU are helped)!
2 DEGREE SUCCESS STEP:
Take 10 minutes and jot down THREE (3) items of VALUE that you expect or desire from assisting another person. Rank them in importance to YOU as an individual. Define which one will provide the most long-term value to your personal SUCCESS plan. While working today – identify which of the top values you received by providing help. Ask yourself – which one gives me the most in return? Verify you ARE getting a return (as this will help prevent burnout of a relationship).
My example: What do I expect when I help someone? (In ranking order)
1. To solidify a trusted relationship
2. A feeling of pride and accomplishment
3. The opportunity to ask for assistance at a later date
Which provides the most value to me? Solidifying TRUSTED relationships. (it is nice to know you have trusted people to help you when you need – this will be how I build my SUCCESS TEAMS)
Cheers,
Zach
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